The Thirteen Elements
by Lacto3.1415
Summary: SSBM. Crazy Hand separates the 26 smashers into pairs and sends them all out to look for objects representing thirteen elements. They don't know what the Hand is up to and most don't question it. Some of them do though, thinking there's a sinister plot behind this. Will they be able to find out what's really going on?
1. Ganondorf and Pichu

A/N: I randomly thought up this idea a few days ago. I chose 12 of the pairs by a random lot except for the first two...I had these guys in mind from the start:)

The first thirteen chapters will be relatively short and I don't know about the ones following...hmhmhm!

* * *

**Chapter One: A King and The Baby Mouse**

Ganondorf and Pichu were assigned with each other. Why? Well, it was the lot of course! Ganondorf wasn't too pleased when he heard that he got stuck with a baby...

Ganondorf wore his normal attire while Pichu wore a small green backpack which contained many small items that only a small mouse would think to use. The two traveled for about a mile before Pichu claimed that he was tired. Ganondorf just totally ignored that fact, so Pichu had to take up a brave status and jump onto Ganondorf. He succeeded, and was able to recuperate his powers while the two traveled. Ganondorf tried not to mind the constant questions of Pichu along the way.

"Are we there yet?" asked Pichu. The two were traveling in a dense forest. Ganondorf tried to destroy all the greenery in his way whereas Pichu was just trying to avoid it.

"No. We are not even near!" yelled a now very impatient Ganondorf.

"Why not? We have been walking for a long time..." stated Pichu, almost causing Ganondorf to blow up. But Ganondorf was able to keep his calm.

"Because the place is very far away. And you haven't been the one walking here..." stated Ganondorf, showing that his cap was unscrewing at a fast rate.

"Oh...this is taking forever though!"

"Yeah..."

"Why is it taking so long?"

"I told you already."

"Oh yeah. Why is that place faraway?"

"Because it is."

"Why?"

"Because it is..."

"Why?"

"BECAUSE IT IS!" yelled a now very angry king. Pichu managed to stay on Ganondorf's shoulder while he slightly cowered in fear and confusion.

"Why are you yelling?" the confused pup asked.

"Because of your constant question asking..." said Ganondorf in the calmest way he could.

"Oh...why was I asking so many questions?"

"Huh?"

"Why was I asking all those questions?"

"You tell me."

"But I don't know!"

"Neither do I."

"You don't? I thought you would!"

"I don't. You were the one asking questions about YOURSELF so shouldn't you be able to answer them?"

"Not that I know of." Pichu finished off the conversation accompanied by a sigh from Ganondorf. If Pichu asked any more questions...

"Are we there yet?"

"NOOOO!" Ganondorf yelled, with his top finally blown off, "Ugh! Why did I have to get stuck with...with...YOU?"

"Because I am adorable."

"Why was lady luck against me?"

"She's always against you. She seems to go for the cute ones...I've been getting a lot of luck lately."

"Huh?"

"I have! Remember I got that ice cream sundae? And that huge chocolate cake? And that big box of candy? And all those toys? And those movies? And those..."

"That was your birthday!"

"Really? Cool! How many times a year do you have a birthday?"

"...Once."

"Only once? Why?"

"Because you are only born once a year...well, most are only born once a year."

"Huh?"

"You were born a random day. That day only occurs once in a year. When you turn to be one year old, you have survived through all the other days and have returned to the same day that you were born a year earlier."

"Wow...why is it so complicated?"

"It's actually not that complicated..."

"Who decided how long a year would be?"

"Er..."

"Why weren't years scheduled as 7 days? That way we can have a birthday party every week!"

"Hey...that actually isn't a bad idea! If only we could convince everybody..."

"Yay! We should!" Pichu concluded another conversation. The two travelers had something new and different to ponder about.

-----------------------

Several hours later, the duo arrived at their destination. It was almost dusk, but since their element was electricity, they could see it clearly.

This was the Cave of Evac. This cave held a really ferocious creature called the Shadow. The Shadow was of eagle/hawk type and was very large in size. The Shadow didn't have any electrical powers, he was immune to electricity. Many people believed that he became immune to electricity because of the insane amount of lightning bolts that constantly struck the cave. This wasn't too good of news for Pichu...

"Oh great...now I'm gonna have to deal with this guy by myself..." Ganondorf stated the obvious.

"I thought you liked fighting and causing chaos...I don't."

"That is because you haven't fought in a true and life threatening battle! You do not get the thrill as much from those regular smash battles...you can't die...just get K.O.'d..."

"Yeah! Isn't it great?"

"Uh..." Silence was what was heard when the two entered the Cave of Evac itself. There were five entrances, all of which led to random areas...

"Let's go in the first one." Ganondorf said bluntly, not bothering to consult Pichu in any way, shape, or form.

* * *

A/N: _-immitates Puss-In-Boots eyes- _Review Please!  



	2. Dr Mario and Popo

**Chapter Two: An Ice Climber and The Doctor**

Popo and Dr. Mario were assigned to complete the diurnal job. The destination? Well, certainly not a place where nocturnal creatures dwell.

The two were wandering along in a hot desert. Of course they had plenty of water and many needed supplies to last for a long while. They just had to be careful with their goods and gear so that they would not run out before reaching the destination.

"Ya know, I am quite glad that I was put into a group with you..." Popo said to the doctor.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it is nice to have a doctor around! Especially since we are going a dangerous journey."

"Hm...that's true. But who would heal ME if I receive an injury?"

"Well...good question." Popo said, ending that conversation. The two wandered along, using their supplies a little too carelessly at times. Several crows flew by for no true reason, mocking the two travelers and spitting out wicked tales of how other travelers did not survive this journey. Of course, the two smashers dismissed the statements.

"Man...why was I assigned to this? I am an ICE CLIMBER WANDERING THE DESERT!"

"Whoa, what is with that sudden outburst?"

"Well..."

"Oh don't let those crows get to ya. All they spilled were lies...you can make it! We are both smashers - we have learned to deal with the toughest events to come."

"But---"

"No buts. I know we can do this if we stay focused and keep our ground. Besides, we are about half way through now..."

"ONLY HALF WAY? WE HAVE BEEN TRAVELING FOR HOURS!"

"Stop yelling. You are going to waste energy that way...let's just keep going. We will get there sooner than we will expect."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, if we just brave this out, then it will seem shorter than if we were to complain all the way. Complaining does not help anyone and it is just a good way to waste energy. We should try to find _some _fun in this."

"You're right. Hm...if only we had a game to play..."

"We do!"

"Where?"

"Why, you can make a game out of anything in this place!"

"...How?"

"Well, we could easily play games that involve spotting. Like whoever spots "this" first wins or something like that."

"Oh! I get it! I remember doing that with Nana...sure, let's do that!"

"Alright, what should the first game involve?"

"How about...whoever spots the coolest looking rock wins!"

"That may be hard to decide what the coolest rock would be...sure!" And so the two travelers started to enjoy life more in that horrid desert.

"Ya know what I just realized?" Popo said after many games were played, "I'm an ICE climber in the desert!"

"Yeah..."

"Wow...that's amazing! Who put us to this test anyways?"

"Well?"

"I think the heat's getting to ya."

"What do you mean?"

"Well..."

"Who did send us on this trip?"

"Crazy Hand."

"Is he crazy?"

"Name states it."

"Wow..." Popo pondered. Yes, the unusual heat was getting to him...I guess.

----------------------------

Several hours later after that amnesia incident, they finally reached their destination - a large sand dune.

"Yay! Hey...those games really did help. I wish that never ended..." stated a now very happy and now not confused Popo.

"Yeah, so goes the life of one who is having fun. But now we must do what we came here for." The two searched for an entrance into the cave...

* * *

A/N: Muahahaha! It's done!...Maybe not. Next chapter (gasps): Mewtwo and Luigi!

Mewtwo: -glares-

Luigi: -silence-

Well, they're a talkative duo...


	3. Luigi and Mewtwo

**Chapter Three: The Plumber and The Psychic Cat**

Mewtwo and Luigi started on their journey. Those two had the very dangerous task of finding the star element. Of course, all the tasks were dangerous, but this was one of the worst because it involved the strangeness of space...and stars...and planets...and black holes.

"Did you say black holes?" asked Luigi.

"No." Mewtwo replied.

"Someone did..." Luigi said, now confused.

"Yeah. You just did." Mewtwo stated, wandering ahead quickly.

"Hey!" Luigi yelled at him, "You can't just ditch me!"

"Oh yes I can."

"No you can't!"

"I can. Don't argue."

"Why do you never use exclamation points?"

"Because I don't want to."

"But they make life interesing!"

"Yeah, too interesting. You seem to be using them excessively."

"It's not my fault!"

"Oh yes it is."

Luigi sighed. He just had to get stuck with one of the most serious smashers on a serious journey...just his luck. The two arrived at their destination: the top of a very tall mountain.

"This is tall!" Luigi exclaimed.

"No way. Anyways, there should a portal somewhere around here that will transport us to our next destination."

"Where's that"  
"I don't actually know. Master Hand just said it was located in space and was some strange sort of building. There we would find some dude with the ability to summon stars."

"Interesting...how long will it take to get there?"

"We are here at the portal. We are hopefully going to arrive at our next destination soon. Do not make me use an exclamation point either."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Oh forget it." Mewtwo finished that conversation. They arrived at the portal, with Luigi looking in wonder.

"That's amazing!"

"Yeah."

"How do these things work?"

"It depends."

"And..."

"It just depends. There is no way we can tell how this is going to work by just looking at it."

"Aw!..."

"Let's go on." Mewtwo stated, jumping into the strange portal. Luigi was of course, very hesitant. He did not trust this thing, but his partner went in without trouble (or so he thought). After a couple minutes of arguing with himself, Luigi finally jumped into the portal...awaiting all adventures! Muahaha!


	4. Nana and Yoshi

A/N: Sorry it took so long! Muaha...I hath decided to do two updates in one, to make y'all and life itself happy:)

* * *

**Chapter Four: The Other Ice Climber and The Dinosaur**

Yoshi walked into a mine, admiring all the rocks before him. His partner was lagging behind. Who was that? Why, none other than Nana of course! Eh heh heh...

"HEY! Wait for me!" Nana yelled, cautiously entering the cave as if her yell would cause some sort of explosion.

"You're going REALLY S L O W L Y!"

"I can't help it!"

"Yes you can!"

"No I can't!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"How long is this going to take?"

"Time is going to go as fast as you are walking now!"

"Be optimistic! Have pride in yourself! You are the teller of the time!"

"Ah forget it! What's the point in trying to be happy here!...Hey! Look!" Yoshi yelled, running over to a pretty looking rock. He admired the pretty looking rock for quite some time while Nana s l o w l y walked over.

"Watcha lookin' at?"

"This rock makes me...happy!"

"It totally brightens my day in this dark and dreaded cave!"

"What's with the ellipses? Why be so pessimistic when there is all the great things to admire around you?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Ugh! Why did I have to get stuck with miss pessimistic here? I need happiness...ooh!"

"What is it now?"

"Oh FINALLY you speak! Look...it looks like there's a door over there..." Yoshi finished the mostly one sided conversation by walking away from the pretty rock and walking over to the very interesting door.

"It's a very interesting door...it makes me happy!" exclaimed a now very happy Yoshi.

"Like everything else in the universe?"

"Bowser doesn't really make me happy...at least I don't think he does..."

"(sigh)"

"What? HEY! I can be undecided about some things!"

"(sigh)"

"..."

"(sigh)"

"(yawn)"

"(sigh)"

"We need something else to do." Yoshi finished off another interesting conversation by opening the door to reveal something...interesting...


	5. Pikachu and Mr Game and Watch

**Chapter Five: The Electric Mouse and the 2D Figure**

The two partners had to travel to a remote area where no sunlight hit because...well, they just happened to get the nocturnal element.

"It's so dark here...I wish there was sunlight! You know how much I dislike using my precious electric attacks to light the way? Of course you don't! You're 2D and don't have any electric powers!"

"Maybe I do. Maybe nobody else knows."

"Ya know what? That could be true...but I charge you with having no electric attacks!"

"...was there a pun intended there?"

"Who knows?"

"Ya know what? I'm gonna assume that it was."

"Cool enough."

"Hey! It's cool in here! You are like...the master of unintentional puns!"

"Okay..."

"Ha! There are a bunch of OK signs everywhere too!" Mr Game and Watch was right...even though the signs just randomly appeared there without warning...

"Man, Pikachu...you have an unintential gift...HA! Unintential! Ahaha! 'Nother pun!"

"...(starts to back away)..."

"AHAHA! You're BACKing away into a BACK alley! AHAHA!"

"...(runs away at a high speed)..."

"...Wait!" Mr. Game and Watch tried to catch up...but his attempts were futile considering the fact that Pikachu was much faster than him at running...

"Muaha...whoever whould have known that Pikachu is running into a treadmill!" a random bat said, making all the bats around him laugh histerically. Pikachu, upon hearing the bat, stops suddenly.

"Why? Why in this night of pure darkness must I be ridiculed for a couple of trivial things brought on by the figure of 2D whom I do not even really exist in the same dimension as he?"

"Uh...What are you talking about Pikachu?" Mr. Game and Watch caught up with Pikachu in a happy mood.

"My life of depression has started with you..."

"Uh...sorry?"

"JK! Ahahaha!" Pikachu yelled, poking Mr. Game and Watch, "You're it! Get it? IT! The letters I and T are as flat as you are!" And with that, Pikachu continues on, leaving behind a very confused Mr. Game and Watch.

"Uh...kay?" thek 2D figure starts to continue on in a very slow fashion. Will he ever catch up with Pikachu? Who knows...

* * *

A/N: Next pair...Bowser and Captain Falcon!

Boswer: -stretches happily-

Captain Falcon: I'm ready...mueheheheheh!  



	6. Bowser and Captain Falcon

**Chapter Six: The Koopa King and the F-Zero racer**

Arriving at the entrance of a volcano Bowser and Captain Falcon are. Entering the volcano they are also. Happy and excited they are too! YAY!

"Ah...how much do I just LOVE to be back in a good ol' volcano again?" Bowser "asked". He and Captain Falcon were entering at a dangerously slow pace. Well, dangerous for Captain Falcon that is.

"Will you hurry up?" Captain Falcon yelled, itching to race to the next destination.

"Can't. I'm enjoying the scenery too much."

"Scenery? HA!"

"Ah..." Bowser was too intent on absorbing all the volcano-y goodness to reply. Annoyed, Captain Falcon walked up what seemed to be a lifeless form.

"Show me your moves!" he exclaimed, testing to see if the form was _really_ lifeless. Sure enough...it wasn't.

"Show me YOUR moves!" the "lifeless" life form replied. It came out to reveal...a fire rabbit!

"Don't you DARE reply Captain Falcon, unless you want to have a pointless conversation that ends in a pointless way." Bowser advised.

"Good point." Captain Falcon replied briefly. Before anything else could be said, he raced out of the volcano. Bowser didn't show any signs of caring as he started toward the next destination. Before he could get far though, Captain Falcon raced back in with a bucket of water.

"Ta da! What do you think?" he asked, breathing heavily and/or strangely.

"Where did you get that?" Bowser asked, obviously confused.

"From the creek by the base of the volcano."

"I was talking about the bucket..."

"Oh...from the creek also."

"Why?"

"For...THIS!" Captain Falcon threw the bucket of water in the general direction of where the fire rabbit was. To his dismay, the rabbit was gone, now off in the oblivion. Suddenly an idea came to Bowser.

"Hey! I've got an idea...why don't I, being so INCREDIBLY slow, stay up here and guard the cave while you, being so INCREDIBLY fast, go down and retrieve whatever we need?" Bowser offered.

"...is there a catch to that?"

"Not that I know of."

"Okay then! See ya later!" Captain Falcon raced off, leaving behind a chuckling Bowser.

"Heh heh, sucker!" Bowser whispered loudly as he settled down to take in everything beautiful around him. But before he could relax too much, he noticed the volcano became increasingly...darker. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea...

----

Several seconds later, Captain Falcon realized what happened. After much thought, he decided that it was actually better that Bowser stayed behind...for the faster they get the element, the faster they can get home!

"Heh heh...sucker!" Captain Falcon said, happily racing toward the final destination.


	7. DK and Peach

**Chapter Seven: The Princess and the Ape**

DK and Peach had been assigned to grab an object infused with wind magic. The best way to do that would be to go to a place constantly bombarded with tornadoes. A tornado alley of some sort.

They walked along a dry valley, looking around to see if there were any signs of cumulonimbus clouds. Alas, the sky was clear and blue, very nice for an average day.

Too bad this wasn't an average day.

"I don't see any clouds anywhere," Peach complained, "not even far out into the horizon."

"Maybe we should just find a place to rest and wait for them to come," DK suggested.

"But what if they don't come for days or weeks? Crazy Hand wanted us back as soon as possible."

"We can't control the weather. We have a good excuse, right?"

"...I don't think any excuse will be good enough for him though..."

The two kept walking along, seeing if there was any place they could rest for the time being. Bored out of their minds, they decided to discuss what their leader was up to.

"I'm sure Crazy Hand just wants to test out some sort of new magic," DK said, "he's crazy but not that diabolical."

"But...thirteen objects is a lot..." Peach said, "and it's an unlucky number. And the fact that we're sent out in random pairs. Seems kind of weird, right?"

"It's a break from the normal routine, I like it."

"But...what if he's planning on getting rid of all of us?" Peach's eyes widened, "What if that's his plan all along? Send us all on wild goose chases and then we get attacked by the thirteen biggest, meanest bosses in all the universe? What if he's rallying up forces at the mansion so when we go back, pair by pair, we'll be attacked and have no way to defend ourselves? What if-"

"What if this is just a simple plan of his to test out something...simple," DK said, "like I said earlier, it can't be that bad."

"You're falling for it...you're falling for the trap...that's what he wants us to believe...this is not good, not good at all..."

DK rolled his eyes and kept moving forward. He wished he was paired with someone who wasn't such a worry wart. Though all this talk about diabolical motives started making him wonder too. He was sure it wasn't anything bad, but what if the princess _was_ right? He hadn't consulted Master Hand before going on this journey and he hadn't discussed the matter with the other smashers either...

...they had all just shrugged their shoulders, whined a little bit, and headed out as if there was no danger lying in wait for them.

DK stopped. Maybe instead of pursuing this wind object, they should head back to the mansion. Maybe head out to the other areas and warn the other smashers of this potential impending doom.

But what if his original guess had been correct?

"Donkey Kong are you coming?" Peach asked.

DK nodded. "Um...yeah. Found any good place to rest yet?"

Peach pointed to a large tree near a small pool. "We can rest in the shade and drink from that pool."

"Okay," DK shrugged. The two of them headed to rest under the tree, each taking turns at grabbing a bit of water from the pool.

"Should we head back to the mansion?" DK asked.

"Why would we do that?"

"...I was thinking about what you said and there's a possibility you're right."

"Really?"

"If you are right, then we'll save ourselves and the others from a lot of trouble. But if we're wrong, we can just head back here and search for the object."

"That sounds good to me! Do you know which direction we need to head back too?"

"..."

DK looked around, trying to remember which way they came from. There weren't many notable landmarks in this area.

They did have a compass though.

DK pulled out the compass.

"Well, I know where north is now," DK said, "we headed out the western side of the mansion...so we could try heading east and see where that takes us."

"Good idea! Though I hope this isn't part of CH's diabolical plan...to get us lost...make us lose hope..."

"Let's get going then," DK said, getting up, "the sooner we leave the better."

"Don't you need to rest?"

"I'm feeling mighty energized again."

The two headed off towards the east, hoping they would find the mansion soon enough.


	8. Samus and Falco

**Chapter Eight: The Bird and the Bounty Hunter**

Samus and Falco walked along the edge of a large river. Extending out for a couple miles, this river was home to a group of river dolphins jumping happily out of the waters, looking towards the two smashers as if they were trying to greet them.

They were assigned the element of water. Not entirely sure where exactly they were supposed to find it—or even what exactly they were supposed to find—they aimlessly ambled on, hoping that what they needed would just miraculously appear out of thin air.

The wind started picking up as the dark gray clouds started rolling in, threatening to start showering rain over the lands. The two decided to stop and get their bearings before moving on further.

"We've walked about two miles now," said Samus, looking out towards the looming storm clouds, "and it looks like a storm is brewing. Should we head back?"

"After traveling all this way? No way!" Falco replied.

"Look, we don't even know what we're supposed to be looking for and it'll be dangerous trying to move on when it starts raining. I certainly don't want to be in the water when the lightning storm hits."

As if on cue, a loud thunder clap erupted in the distance, causing the two of them to start. Several more lightning flashes illuminated the sky, their thunderous beats announcing their presences a few moments later.

Even the dolphins of the river stopped jumping out, opting instead to drop down into the depths of the river, huddling together for companionship.

"It looks like just an average storm," Falco shrugged, "no big deal."

The wind started pushing the clouds towards their location at an alarmingly fast rate. Falco started walking on again, oblivious to the potential dangers of the storm while Samus lingered back, eyeing the clouds with hesitation.

She had gone through all kinds of obstacles in her lifetime and it seemed counterintuitive for her to be so alarmed about a simple storm. But for some reason, there was something about this current weather which made her hairs stand on edge.

"There's something…off about this storm," Samus called out to her companion, "I think it's going to be worse than an average thunderstorm."

"You worry too much," was Falco's unsympathetic reply.

Myriad thunder claps.

Torrents of rain.

Dozens of lightning strikes flashing through the sky.

The makings of a normal storm but ramped up tenfold.

And approaching fast.

"We need to get back," yelled Samus, "we can look for the element later."

The humanoid bird still ignored her, welcoming the strong weather. It was a change of pace for them, the weather around the Smash mansion usually mild and calm. And they were smashers, warriors from around the universe. What could they possibly be afraid of?

Samus just shrugged and started running back to the mansion, away from the storm. She looked back once and rolled her eyes as she noticed the distant figure of Falco walking straight into the rain.

She ran off and hoped that Falco would be okay.


End file.
